Marriage is not only a beautiful word, but also a wonderful experience. Being married myself for an year and half, I firmly believe in the institution of marriage. It brings two people the closest it can be to share a special bond for a lifetime. It is a bliss. It brings love and happiness in everyone's life. But what I fail to understand is why married women are judged differently. A married woman is suddenly treated differently and sometimes she herself is surprised as to why.. Yes, married women do wear sindoor and bindi, and might be wearing an ornament or two, which marks them wedded.. but that doesn't suddenly transform her from a young, chirpy girl to a mature woman who is expected to handle things entirely differently. She is still a little girl at heart, who is maybe learning to take care of herself on her own, and also of her significant other. Even if she has been married for an year or two, she cannot be expected to handle situations, problems and things she comes across everyday life, exceptionally well. She was a young, carefree little girl who still loves to laze around, likes to be pampered and watch her favourite movies or read books. She might still be coming to terms with the new place, the new people around and her new life and responsibilities. She might still be struggling to understand her husband and her new family well.
Neither does marriage, nor does having kids necessarily turn her into an older, responsible woman. I don't get the fact why people don't see the child in her, why nobody notices the stars in her eyes and the shine of her dreams.. She is still a girl at heart. Wearing sindoor and bindi doesn't make her any less of that. She is not supposed to be responsible for ALL the things the society expects her to be. She will eventually come around, but she needs her time to learn all of what is expected of her. She needs to be trusted and cared for. She needs to be assured that stumbling upon things is okay, that not cooking perfectly is all right, and making mistakes in the household chores is not a crime. She needs love and care like everyone else. She needs to be sure that even if she makes a lot of mistakes, she will not be judged upon, and that everyone takes their own time to learn things.
She wants to hold her head high and keep up her identity. She wants the world to respect her as an individual, not just as someone's wife. She needs people to know her by her first name, not by her husband's last name. She doesn't HAVE to be perfect in all respects. She was not born to take care of someone else, but it's just her heart and the immense love for her life partner that makes her care and do what all she does. She loves with all her heart and her emotions flow endlessly. She works towards perfection for her husband and her new family, not because she is obliged to do so, but because she wants to...
For all my fellow married women, I know you are strong, I know you will always be...I know you want to be perfect for everyone in your family. You want to be a perfect wife, a perfect daughter in-law, a perfect mother and so on.. Take time to learn to be perfect, but don't let the little girl in you die. Don't let the sparkle in your eyes diminish, and don't let your dreams fade. Sure, as women we know and want to keep our loved ones above our own needs, but it's necessary to take time for yourself and to sometimes be the "you" you want to be.. Live your dreams and love your own self.
For all my fellow married men, cherish the child in her and never let the sparkles in her eyes fade. Let her be and let the little girl in her live forever; for that's the very essence of her, and she would like to be loved, pampered and cared for like a little child would.. So make her feel loved, and trust her desires and the will of her heart..